Clear Direction “Your daughter wants to be an ACTRESS”

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“Actress” can stand for any and every career goal. She might want to be an engineer, singer, banker, biologist or rapper it doesn’t matter or does it? The journey of life is filled with 365 days a year that have 24 hours in each of them so you and she have time to chart a course for her to pursue her dreams and for you to pursue yours.  The data shows that opportunities are offered to girls with exceptional grades, extra curricular activities and those who have demonstrated leadership.

Having a clear direction doesn’t have to takes forever. With Moms and daughters and Mentors and mentees setting the direction is crucial and requires dedication to the highest ideal. Contemplating the highest ideal is a tough one no matter what career direction she wishes to go. Each day you feel the pull of her desires as she watches Blackish and learns the lines of the teenage daughter but then when she is presented with the idea of auditioning for a part in the school play, it falls on deaf ears. Maybe she expresses an interest in being a doctor but when the teacher recommends her for a Saturday science program you have to twist her arm to get her to participate.

These GROWTH opportunities for girls take them away from their friend group and cause FEAR.

Most ten, elven, twelve year old girls are full of hope and they need us Moms and Mentors to blow some air under their wings so they can begin to fly to places where they are sure to find seeds that will help their dreams grow.

The simple act of getting started builds confidence and that is exactly what our full of hope girls need just a little bit more of. Confidence to work with others on a common goal, confidence to work on a project alone, confidence to present their ideas or work to a group and confidence to STEP UP and OUT and AWAY from her comfort zone and shine. If you are interested building confidence through improved communication skills that girls can use at home and on their academic journey , this is exactly what I will be working on with a small group of clients this summer.

It doesn’t matter what SHE wants to BE, DO or HAVE in her life…. She has to go to school and get good grades, Shonda Rhimes graduated from Dartmouth, Kerry Washington graduated from George Washington University, Njema Frazer graduated from Carnegie Mellon,  Michelle Miller graduated from Howard University and Melissa Harris Perry graduated from Wake Forest University. These women are writers, scientist, authors, actresses and television correspondents and they all have attended and graduated from college and many of them have doctoral degrees.

Set an intention for your daughter or your mentee to finish this school year strong because grades matter.

Stressing academic excellence as a foundation for whatever direction she decides to pursue will keep her confident and competitive on this journey.

Cheers to living One Jazzy Life


If you need a confidence boost to help you to create powerful, productive and compelling conversations that motivate schedule a complimentary Big Girl Conversation Discovery Session by clicking here.



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Don’t let fear become a chronic condition

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You feel fear, the person you are competing with for that new position feels fear also. Each person is feels fear.



Become comfortable with fear and prepare for success.



Begin with positive self talk

Write short prhases that are easy to remember and repeat them when you hear doubt creep into your self talk

Begin your day with these affirmations and end your day with these affirmations


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Communicating through Disagreements

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Communication skills are essential.
As a mentor to middle school and high girls and mother of a soon to be teenage son disagreements pop up all the time. They are routinely about how much time is being spent on preparation for academic success, extracurricular activities and how much time is being spent on play. What I have noticed over the years is that sticking to what is most important keeps communication real and connected with the bonds of love.
I had multiple conversations this week triggered me.
They  took me right back to a time when one of the girls I had been working with for years decided not to go away to college and decided to stay at home and attend school on a full scholarship. The away college was “only” $3000 a year but in her mind it was money that her family didn’t have and she did not want to put them in that position. All of the adventure and fun of going away to college was what I wanted for her but  when I examined my heart, what I really wanted, was for her to be the first person in her family to graduate from college. She is walking across the stage this year.

When you don’t agree…


*Listen carefully with empathy and the intention to learn more about  what is driving the decision.
*Don’t judge the decision 
*Be careful in your conversations to stay away from criticism 
*Leave  the messaging in all CAPS and exclamation points out of communication.
*Be prepared to give a little
How does this scenario land on you?  Your daughter has a 3.8 at one of the Seven Sisters colleges and says she wants to go to another continent for six months after she graduates to be a nanny instead of going straight to law school, YOU MOM, will either be for this great adventure or be in disagreement.
Download my new free tool to help guide these conversation.
Real Conversations for Mammas of Teenage Girls
If you are for this great adventure you still may want to insist that she find a way to link this experience so that it enhances her chances of entrance into the law school of her choice. You may like most Moms be thinking, I can pay for this but let’s get something substantial out of it. Communicating this is tricky an I recommend beginning each sentence with the word, “yes” then continuing on to suggestions.
For example…you might say
Yes, this is a great idea for travel. The universities there are incredible, sitting in on a class on Legal Policy and Children might help to inform you on international law school programs that focus on your interest.  
If you are not in full agreement with this adventure be prepared to give a little and set some boundaries. You may want her close to home and preparing for law school and you may also know deep down that this experience could be life affirming for her.
For example… you might say
I love you and am afraid of you going so far for such a long period of time without any clear outcomes. Can we set up standard times to communicate daily? I am scared but I know this is a great opportunity for you to expand your network.  I know how passionate you are regarding the rights of children, maybe you might connect with like minded young people if you targeted a few organizations to do some volunteer work for where you can continue your advocacy.
Begin and end with love in your communication and it will enhance the connection. In each of these conversations you are supportive and bringing forth your concerns respectfully.  This will only encourage continued communication because you know this is just one stop on the Jazzy Journey of your life with her.
With real communication you can live One Jazzy Life.
If you haven’t already download my new free tool
If you need a confidence boost to help you to create powerful, productive and compelling conversations that motivate schedule a complimentary Big Girl Conversation Discovery Session by clicking here.
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Cookie Recipe

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This is my first time sharing a cookie recipe. My usual recipes are healthy and often times vegetarian. The delicious truth about my One Jazzy Life is that a good cookie is something to enjoy responsibly.

These are easy to bake and you and your daughter will enjoy them.

3/4 cup of sugar

3/4 cup of packed brown sugar ( I use the light brown)

1 cup of softened butter ( leave two sticks of butter out of the fridge all day)

2 large eggs beaten ( leave the eggs out with the butter)

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 1/4 cups of all – purpouse flour

1 teaspoon of baking soda

3/4 teaspoons of salt

2 cups of semisweet chocolate chips ( I use a 12 ounce bag less than two cups)

if desired 1 cup of pecans or chopped walnuts

Heat the oven to 375

Mix all sugar, butter, vanilla and eggs ( you can do this by hand or with a mixer)

Stir in flour, baking soda and salt

the dough will get stiff then stir in the chocolate chips

Put them on a cookie sheet two inches apart and use about one teaspoon of dough per cookie ( don’t loose your mind over this)

cook for 8 to 10 minutes ( 11 minutes is perfect in my oven but every oven is different)

Enjoy, Janice


If you need a confidence boost to help you to create powerful, productive and compelling conversations that motivate schedule a complimentary Big Girl Conversation Discovery Session by clicking here.


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the conversation about decluttering

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I ran into an old high school buddy of mine a few week ago and her life was a mess. She was in her late forties, in a tough marriage, two teenage daughters, she had gained more weight than she could deal with and she never did the one thing she loved which was swim. I felt terrible, we were pretty cool in high school but we lost touch. I could not do anything about most of her issues however, I shared with her a new guide I was working on for my business and asked her if she was willing to use the tools in my new Big Girl Conversation Cheat Sheet.

The Big Girl Conversation Cheat Sheet

Her an I talked and with all the “stuff” going on in her life she shared that her home being a mess was the first topic she wanted to discuss with her daughters. She had all the negative head talk when we spoke, the girls don’t care about how the kitchen, living room messiness affects me. The girls don’t clean their rooms unless I “loose it” on them.

She scheduled some time to talk with the girls ages thirteen and fifteen and to her surprise each of  them had a secret desire for a cool neat space where they could entertain friends. Mom was all set, we had planned for a few scenarios and this was one of them. She echoed their need to have a cool space for friends and shared her need for more help to make this happen for the family. After weekly meetings for about a month they have a tidy up plan for the living  room, kitchen, and the girls’ room that allows Mom to enjoy a water aerobics class once a week. They set up a budget for new items and hope to have them purchased in the coming months.

Big Girl Conversations about clutter can be transformative for everyone.

If you need a confidence boost to help you to create powerful, productive and compelling conversations that motivate schedule a complimentary Big Girl Conversation Discovery Session by clicking here.


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Generations view social media differently

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Last week I attended the Annual New York Conference Lay Organization Annual Awards Luncheon sponsored by the AME Church. It was beautiful, they honored our young people in the churches in New York and New Jersey. My table was full of lively women in their seventies and me. They just don’t get todays communication on social media. Their three main problem with it were  the constant need for approval, the focus on things outside of themselves as good and they did not see the point of sharing everything you do with the possibility that it might be shared by others to people you don’t know.

The older generation doesn’t need a study to know why too much social media is not so good.

The Like Grab

The constant need for approval has been shown to cause problems for our young girls especially if they don’t get the number of likes they want after posting a picture of themselves in an outfit they worked all day putting together. You know there is a Big Girl Conversation that will occur once the tears have slowed down.

tip… shift your focus from predominately pictures and looks that focus on body image  on social media to creating content around issues and causes like #enough.

It Is Not You, it is Your Stuff

Social media is just out of control with pictures of women and girls with clothes, shoes, handbags and cars that are just down right unattainable for most people. These older women at the table could not grasp the focus on  “stuff”, I guess because most of them were born in the late 1930’s or early 1940’s. People just had less back then.

Mom, you have to be serious about our job as Social Media Mentor and be vigilant about conversation revolving around what is important for your daughter today and that is creating a digital presence she can be proud of. This may include a few photos of orchestra concerts, track meets, prom dresses and be sure to include a picture of her in her new high school or college swag.

Sharing Can Be Shared and Shared Again

This is truly a Big Girl Conversation, the sharing of photos has landed many young boys and girls in hot water because they shared a photo of someone underage who was scantly clad or naked. Girls send these nude pictures to boys because boys ask for them and then they show friend and it causes shame and humiliation that is unnecessary.


Communicate early and often with your daughter where you want your her to go in life (college) and the path you are setting before her to get her to the final destination.  It was clear that the young people honored in this years luncheon have been focused on their future and will surely reach the destination of their dreams.

If you need a confidence boost to help you to create powerful, productive and compelling conversations that motivate schedule a complimentary Big Girl Conversation Discovery Session by clicking here.




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